Academic Aesthetic Netcast 113

In honor of Halloween, Here's a not-so-serious list of the top 10 scary things in education:

Top 10 scary things about education.

10. Due to the emphasis on standardized tests, local universities will look at SAT scores more than class grades. As soon as your entire curriculum is revamped so that your students have a better chance of getting into their universities of choice, those colleges will switch back.

9. Students notice when you glance at the teacher's manual to see what the answer is.

8. Digital Rights Management will eventually be so invasive that the only way to copy handouts will be to send all papers to the nearest monastery, where monks will take breaks from copying their illuminated manuscripts to give you 30 copies of Wednesday's math homework.

7. Taking a cue from Microsoft, your school's local tech support will start referring to your computer's spyware and virus infections as "features." And really, isn't that a rather soothing shade of blue on that screen of yours?

6. Due to the leaps and bounds in technology that have been taken by the toy industry, most teachers will be replaced by the latest RoboSapien. Specialists, on the other hand, will be replaced by Tickle-Me Elmo dolls.

5. DNA tests on yesterday's mystery meat in the cafeteria came back .. inconclusive.

4. It wasn't the custodians that got rid of those ants in your room. A colony of large spiders moved into your desk and they had to eat something.

3. Your Technology Coordinator has taken her first day off in ten years, and the network just went down halfway through first period when you were planning to spend the whole day in the computer lab.

2. Today's students will be running tomorrow's nursing homes.

1. Just when you thought you'd downloaded all your favorite educational netcasts, you found out that one of the files is incom-